My distraction

I was just sitting here in the library with the hope of seeing him slowly fleeting.

I was certain that I was not going to see him today, but then he always seems to catch me off guard all the darn time.

I was slouching, with my head in my hands, leaning forward, looking all tired eyed and everything, when he decided to finally show his face. Impeccable timing to show up when I am the least prepared! So, he walks by with his friends and it only took a glance for me to know it was him. And that annoying thing that always happens when I see him, happened again. Butterflies and everything, swarming in my stomach, fluttering in my heart, making me feel all weird inside. It scares me to know that I thrive on these brief encounters I have with him, that for most of the time, it is the highlight of my day. It’s like an addiction that I cannot help. And I cannot wait for him to come back my way. Just the thought of him alone distracts me, making me oblivious to the world around me. So, you can imagine how gaga I go when I do actually see him.

So, until he comes back, I will constantly look out the window to ensure that I do not miss him. After all, the day is far from over.

My nightly visitor

Written: Wednesday 21st August, 2013

For the past few days I've been sick, I've been dreaming about him - every night, and even when I sleep in the mornings and afternoons. Could it be that God is telling me something? Or is is just me selfishly dreaming of my hearts desire?

The thing about these dreams though, is that I did not force them. So far, each time I went to sleep, I closed my eyes expecting nothing. And yet, each time, he appeared. I don't know how many times I've actually gone to sleep wishing I'd see him in my dreams, but didn't... So, to have this happen now without even trying is a real surprise for me. I don't know how many times I've awaken with a smile on my face. What if I had it plastered on the whole duration of my sleep?! Oh no... If they only knew what I was dreaming about!

All I can say is, I'm glad he haunts my dreams now, but I'd also love to see him in reality more often. I hardly do in school and I only go to church every other Sunday, and even then I'm never sure if he's also there. Nevertheless, I shall close my eyes tonight and pray I see him again, for it is he who gets me through the anguished nights, when the pain in my stomach becomes almost unbearable. Dear God, please let me see my nightly visitor again tonight.

A lil' HI lil' LO

Ok, so before I get started with this blog, I just want to set the record straight and tell you all right now that this blog is intended for all the poems, thoughts and whatever else I may come up with about this particular guy... we shall call him my muse. Speaking of muse, who else is in love with the band?

Anyway, yes, this blog will be about him and no one else! Muahahahaha... if he only knew. Shall I bore you all with a short intro of my peculiar love story? I promise to make it extra short... or at least try to. Here goes:

I love him. He doesn't know. I don't intend on letting him know unless he makes the first move, which I doubt he would because I've been waiting for a few years now for it to happen. I don't talk to him much, but when I do I go all mushy inside and start singing Taylor Swift songs (I'm not dissing her by the way, I'm actually a huge fan). We've known each other for years, but we don't really know each other (if you know what I mean. Hopefully, you do). I used to have a huge crush on his best friend, which led me to do something extremely stupid, but that was eons ago... plus, this thing I have for this guy is wayy more than just a crush (I mean, I used two y's to emphasize my point). I have, or should I say had, reason to believe that fate tried to bring us together in the past, but that never happened because... well, like I said earlier, I'm waiting on him to make that first move. I mean, that's all he has to do. I can totally take over the rest. Oh, and did I mention that we are two very different people? He is... well, let's just say that my sisters think that I'm too good for him. I mean, we're so not alike, no one thinks we could even like each other. It took me all the freaking courage in the world to tell my sisters that I liked him, and they laughed in my face because they thought I was joking. When I told them I wasn't, they said they wished I was. How funny is that, right?

So yes, that's basically it. I've tried to get advise from other guys and some of them are certain he has a thing for me too, but just isn't sure how to approach me about it. I'm like, pshh, I'm a very approachable person. He just might be catching me at the wrong time all the time, like when the sun is in my eyes, or when I see someone I hate, or when I'm just frowning for no reason. Other than that, I don't see why he wouldn't approach me. What do you think?

Wait! Oh my goodness, what am I doing boring you with my problems? I was just supposed to introduce the darn blog and I got a little carried away with the story telling. Maybe I'll continue it some other day, but for now, I have to tell y'all what to expect so you know what you're getting yourself into...

Basically, it will be mushy stuff, so if you don't like it, don't say I didn't warn you. But, if you do like mushy stuff, yay! Welcome to the club girlfriend... or boyfriend. Whichever you are (hey, I do not judge. Much.) So yes, it won't really be like how I'm writing right now, but I can totally write like this again if you want. It would be more like diary entries, letters addressed to him, poems, etc. So, yes, I do hope that you enjoy the ride. And don't forget to leave a comment or share it :)

Stay awesome.