Written: Friday, 1st March, 2013
The thought came so suddenly to me that I had to stop walking to realize that yes, I actually just thought of him.
I wanted to see him, and now. But, I thought no, it's not going to happen. I haven't seen him all week, what on earth was I thinking today would be any different?
Then I looked up.
And just then, my heart skipped a beat, maybe two. I'm not sure because I was so lost in the moment, the world around me could have been in flames and I wouldn't even know... I wouldn't even care because he was there, right in front of me, within my reach!
Where did he come from?! I didn't even see him before that... before this! It was as if I dreamt him up, as if my thoughts summoned him to me... I mean, he appeared just as suddenly as the thought had. In my mind, I was begging him to turn around and see me.
Did he know I was walking right behind him? I even thought to overtake him just so he could know that I was there, because for some weird reason, I really wanted him to know that I was there. Question is, would he even care?
But that's not what really got me. It was what happened a little later that really caught my attention.
When I got close enough to touch him, for some reason, I found it hard to breathe. It was like that movie, Waiting for forever. My experience was exactly like that, and it scares me because that was the first time something like that has happened to me.
He literally took my breath away.
Thursday, 12 September 2013
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
When it all began...
I see him around more frequently than I did before, and each time I see him, I'm reminded of the day it all began. Yes, I can recall it all because I made sure to write it on a piece of paper because I wanted to remember the exact day it happened. When it all began...
This is what I wrote:
Written: Sunday 27th February, 2011
" Today was a day like none other as I made a startling, yet not surprising discovery. It was a sudden realization of what I had already known; for my heart had felt it, but my mind was too stubborn to admit defeat.If I were to say that I never expected such a thing to happen, I would only be fooling myself for I knew that I could not dodge Cupid's arrows any longer; a year had been too long a dry spell for me. "
Basically, I was already in love with him, I just didn't know it then. In regards to the dry spell, the previous guy I had liked was one of his best friends, but that was nothing more than a crush. What I have for him right now, is real. How could I be so sure? I've asked myself that question a million times at least and I came to the same conclusion each time: I just know. When you find love that's real, it's different from any other love you've ever felt before. All of a sudden, he was the only one in the crowded room I could see, his voice was the only one I could hear, his eyes were the only ones I searched for. I've heard songs and watched movies about it, but nothing could have prepared me for that moment. It's different for everyone, how we experience it, but the feelings the same... that real love, that is. It's one of the most amazing things in the world to feel. It's like finding that one thing you didn't even know you were missing.
I've been confused before when it came to love (when I was younger) and when I look back at it now, I laugh at myself because my idea of love at the time was so wrong. You can't help who the heart chooses, but don't confuse a few skipped beats and butterflies for love.
Even I could be wrong right now. What I feel for him could just be a phase I'd someday pass.
I'm a christian girl, and I committed my life into God's hands long ago. So, if it is in His will for me not to be with him, I will be content with that decision. Don't get me wrong, I'd be ecstatic if we do end up together, but if do not, I will be equally happy. And I do pray it's him who God intends for me...
This is what I wrote:
Written: Sunday 27th February, 2011
" Today was a day like none other as I made a startling, yet not surprising discovery. It was a sudden realization of what I had already known; for my heart had felt it, but my mind was too stubborn to admit defeat.If I were to say that I never expected such a thing to happen, I would only be fooling myself for I knew that I could not dodge Cupid's arrows any longer; a year had been too long a dry spell for me. "
Basically, I was already in love with him, I just didn't know it then. In regards to the dry spell, the previous guy I had liked was one of his best friends, but that was nothing more than a crush. What I have for him right now, is real. How could I be so sure? I've asked myself that question a million times at least and I came to the same conclusion each time: I just know. When you find love that's real, it's different from any other love you've ever felt before. All of a sudden, he was the only one in the crowded room I could see, his voice was the only one I could hear, his eyes were the only ones I searched for. I've heard songs and watched movies about it, but nothing could have prepared me for that moment. It's different for everyone, how we experience it, but the feelings the same... that real love, that is. It's one of the most amazing things in the world to feel. It's like finding that one thing you didn't even know you were missing.
I've been confused before when it came to love (when I was younger) and when I look back at it now, I laugh at myself because my idea of love at the time was so wrong. You can't help who the heart chooses, but don't confuse a few skipped beats and butterflies for love.
Even I could be wrong right now. What I feel for him could just be a phase I'd someday pass.
I'm a christian girl, and I committed my life into God's hands long ago. So, if it is in His will for me not to be with him, I will be content with that decision. Don't get me wrong, I'd be ecstatic if we do end up together, but if do not, I will be equally happy. And I do pray it's him who God intends for me...
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